


Best Laid Plans

by shihadchick



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-22
Updated: 2010-05-22
Packaged: 2017-10-09 15:44:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shihadchick/pseuds/shihadchick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You know, you could do this whole 'terrify the prisoners' thing a lot more efficiently," he said thoughtfully, "work the fear angle, let them do all the work.  Saves on your electricity bills, and it's much easier for the cleaners.  Heck, you could just toss us all back in the cell and let us stew for a bit.  Think of something new and frightening. The unknown, for instance.  I find the unknown very scary.  Much more civilised than torture."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best Laid Plans

**Author's Note:**

  * For [for : world_of_blade](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=for+%3A+world_of_blade), [who wanted Lorne/Novak taken prisoner.](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=who+wanted+Lorne%2FNovak+taken+prisoner.).



> Written for the first SGA Secondary challenge; with thanks to KatHalcyon for the beta.

"Electricity? Really? How very- traditional." Major Lorne's voice was almost conversational. "You know, I didn't think you people had advanced far enough for that. Shouldn't you still be menacing well-meaning explorers with clubs? Or possibly flint knives?"

The guard lounging in the chair opposite the cell didn't even bother to respond, simply toyed deliberately with the cuffs and electrodes laid out on the table with an expression that clearly stated he'd like nothing better than to get a start on using them.

Lt Cadman elbowed him in the ribs, her expression betraying nothing more than a faint concern, eyes steady.

"Sir? Maybe we should just-" _sit back down and wait to be rescued_ were the words which easily filled in the blank as she trailed off, along with an eyebrow quirk which asked in plain English just what he hoped to accomplish by baiting the natives. Especially given that behaving like that was usually the alpha team's job.

Lorne sat, frowning, and tried – really, he did – not to mutter under his breath. Much.

He caught himself tapping his fingers on the empty holster at his thigh, wishing fervently for his sidearm back, and that their captors hadn't been quite so damn thorough in their search. After that, he didn't think even Ronon would've been able to get a knife past them – these guys were good.

"Parrish? How're you doing?"

The botanist gave him a limp wave from the mattress on the opposite side of the cell, his other hand busy holding a wadded-up bandage – they'd retained that much of their med kits at least – to the cut bleeding sluggishly from his temple. "I'll be fine, Major."

"Providing we get out of here sometime soon, that is," Dr Novak added, mouth twisting.

Lorne had to admit he'd been pleasantly surprised by the way both scientists were taking this turn of events – not that being taken captive was terribly uncommon in Pegasus (rather more the opposite). Still, after their initial mission had been cancelled on account of Wraith (if Lorne was a more superstitious man he'd be wondering about Parrish's ability to fall head-first into trouble off-world), most of their missions – the ones where they weren't having to haul the alpha team's butts out of trouble, that was – had been completely by the books. Almost suspiciously straightforward, even.

It was almost as if Murphy and his Law had just been taking a short vacation before lurking around a corner to take them off at the knees.

"So, this kind of thing happens a lot, right?" Novak asked, looking somewhere between hopeful and indignant. She had a bruise spreading over one cheekbone and scrapes from knee to elbow, souvenirs of the tumble she'd taken just after they'd been captured. But since the other guy in this instance had still been walking funny and talking at a much higher pitch than was natural by the time they'd been shoved in the cell, he was pretty much calling that a well-earned win for their side.

"Uh… not so often as you'd think, really, Doctor." He couldn't quite quell a sense of guilt; she wasn't even assigned to the city proper, and this was supposed to have been a milk run, just a quick check on tech on the crashed 'ship they'd found there by someone with more than theoretical experience and back to the city in time for dinner.

She raised an eyebrow, and despite the situation, and the real threat of those electrodes ending up somewhere pretty darn delicate on his person in the next few hours, he had to grin back at her. Had to appreciate the picture they must all make – dirty, bruised, cooped up and yet unbeaten, and there she was with them, not a hair out of place. Even Cadman looked a little mussed, and yet Novak still had a nifty little twist pinned at the nape of her neck. Colonel Sheppard's stash of hair gel had nothing on whatever she was using.

He had to look rueful because the first time he'd ever met her they'd been beaming down to an Atlantis under siege, and the time after that she'd been all jittering nerves with the Wraith bearing down on them again and a traitor somewhere in their ranks, and then now? Well, now they were all about to be up to their asses in alligators with some friendly people who were apparently very, very pissed about the Atlanteans habit of- well, Lorne wasn't exactly sure what, but given some of the guns he'd caught sight of, he was going to lay good money on these folk being allies of the Genii.

As if he hadn't had enough of their hospitality last time. All in all, it wasn't exactly the best tour of the galaxy. Then again, it wasn't like they had to deal with Goa'uld here, so Lorne was more than willing to take that as a plus.

Novak slumped back against the chilly stone wall behind her and curled up, legs tucked neatly under her. Lorne looked, winced slightly in appreciation of the pose, and went back to glaring at their guard on the off chance that this one time he would spontaneously develop a telepathic power that could knock him out.

"So, Cadman, any chance you have some kind of explosive tucked away into-" he made a hand gesture which implied certain anatomical parts which, as her commanding officer, he shouldn't really be making note of.

She gave him a dirty look.

If they got out of this in one piece he was probably going to end up paying for that, because one thing you could say for Cadman was that she was persistent. And that she'd nag McKay into making her some kind of wearable explosives device because there had absolutely been a flicker of Demolitions Girl glee there to start with.

"Well, it was worth a shot."

There was silence in the room for some time after that, just the rustle of clothing as Parrish shifted, Novak fiddling with her watch before shaking out her shoulders a little and getting up to pace a circle in the space between the two beds, sharing a look with Cadman who was alternating between compulsively stretching and finger-combing her ponytail.

"No, really? Does anyone have any kind of plan?"

The guard cleared his throat, and Lorne turned to glare at him. "Oh, give me a break! What do you expect us to do, just sit here and wait for you to decide to break the monotony by torturing us horribly before you hand us over to the Genii?"

The guard got to his feet, fingers inching towards his gun and, wow, okay, he was a lot bigger than Lorne had remembered.

"Nice work, Major," and that was Parrish, making a face and shifting ever so slightly into a position which would let him tackle the guard when he came in. He didn't want to draw attention by turning to look at Cadman, but a flash of colour in his peripheral vision suggested she was moving, too. It gave him a momentary flash of pride, this silent communication that they'd built up, the way they could work together.

Now they just needed Novak to follow along as well, and it seemed as if she'd tuned herself right into team frequency, because she was drawing back, doing her best impression of scared stiff, but she wasn't hiccupping and the hand that wasn't behind her back was steady as a rock.

And then the lock was tumbling open, the guy jerking the key out with a lot more enthusiastic force than was necessary, and they were maybe going to be able to pull this off because he was just bulling right into the cell without even calling for backup, and Lorne spared a scornful thought for the fact he obviously thought they were so helpless that he didn't even have enough respect to treat them as being the least bit dangerous.

So he sprang up and caught the guy in a headlock, and Parrish had knocked his legs out from under him, and More-Muscle-Than-Brain Man's head made a truly satisfying clunk as it hit the cell floor, and Cadman was yanking the keys from his pocket and the weapon from his holster (overconfident as hell, he hadn't laid a hand on it) and that was when it all went to hell all over again.

And as the stunner blast washed over him and he felt the numbing tingle race from top to toes, eyes rolling back in his head Lorne only had time to think "maybe not so dumb after all."

~ ~ ~

Swimming back up towards consciousness after being taken out by a Wraith stunner was up there on the top ten least enjoyable ways to wake up ever, Lorne thought, blinking and feeling as if something had crawled into his mouth to die. Several somethings and their vicious, rabid relatives, he corrected that to after a minute or so, coughing to clear his throat. As his eyes focused, he realised he had been set down in a chair – which he was now cuffed to, and, oh, yes, those were indeed needles and menacing-looking dials just out of what would be his reach. Looked like this day wasn't going to improve much.

With what seemed like far too much effort he lifted his head, met the mocking gaze of the commander of the troops they'd run into, and over his shoulder saw Novak, holding Cadman up and glaring daggers at the guards in the hall. Parrish was laid out on the mattress, and he had a second of sick worry before he saw his chest rising, saw he wasn't that terribly familiar variety of limp which meant he wasn't going to wake up again. That was something, at least.

He found words, fuzzy and slurred with the after-effects of stun, made sure to meet the Captain's eyes as he forced them out. "Don' have to do this. Really. Let us go, and our people won't hafta- have to hunt you down. They will come after us."

The captain gave him a twisted smile and said something vicious which Lorne tried very hard not to hear.

"You know, you could do this whole 'terrify the prisoners' thing a lot more efficiently," he said thoughtfully, "work the fear angle, let them do all the work. Saves on your electricity bills, and it's much easier for the cleaners. Heck, you could just toss us all back in the cell and let us stew for a bit. Think of something new and frightening. The unknown, for instance. I find the unknown very scary. Much more civilised than torture. Maybe you should try that one." Maybe if he pissed them off enough they'd knock him out again before getting started on the serious pain, and it didn't exactly take rocket science for that to be plan B (or maybe they were up to C by now, he'd sort of been out of the loop what with being unconscious and all).

It really wasn't much of a surprise when the guy backhanded him without even changing expression, but as he trying to straighten himself up out of the sprawl that he'd been knocked into, he couldn't entirely hide the look of shock which widened his eyes as he caught sight of the new tableau behind them.

"Very nice, Major," the captain said scornfully, not even deigning to turn, "but unfortunately I know better than to fall for such a tired old ploy. There is no one behind me, and no one coming to your rescue any time soon."

"You would think so, wouldn't you? But you'd be wrong." Novak's voice was sugar-sweet and Lorne was suddenly and quite desperately trying not to find it hot that she'd pulled a knife from _somewhere_ and was holding it steady at the Captain's throat. She didn't look at all broken up when he twitched at the sound of her voice and nicked the side of his jaw on the blade, either.

He spat a word which they all knew (thanks to Teyla's cool demurral when asked to translate it) was a nasty local insult and went very still as Cadman (still leaning on the wall but now with gun in hand and trained on the remaining Ryorrh troops who were, to a man, trying very hard to look as if they would _never_ have made suggestive comments to prisoners under their guard) turned to pin him with a glance that suggested if Novak didn't know the best place to leave that knife, then _she_ sure as hell did.

"I think we're ready now, Hermiod," Novak said, voice remarkably steady (almost perky, and wasn't that a kick?), and Lorne realised belatedly that, of course, she had a wrist communicator as well as the earpieces that the Ryorrh had confiscated the previous day, and that certainly explained where the knife had come from, if nothing else. Obviously it paid to have the Asgard watching your six, and he let himself relax just a little as they were beamed aboard the _Daedalus_ and given over to the tender mercies of the medical staff.

By the time Lorne had managed to debrief Colonel Caldwell and reassure the docs that he'd be fine so long as they gave him some painkillers and a quiet place to lie down for a while, Novak was sitting on her own hospital bed and swinging her heels.

"Bored, Novak?" he asked with the ghost of a grin, ignoring the bustle of med techs around their part of the room.

"I'm just ready to get back to work, Major. I'm fine, and the engine room maintenance waits for no man. Woman. Er." She looked a little flustered, at this after everything else, and even though he knew he probably shouldn't, he couldn't help teasing a little in response.

"I'm sure Hermiod can manage without you for a couple hours, Novak. Gotta let the docs get their worrying out the way now while they've still got you in their clutches."

"Is that the voice of experience, then?"

He lay back and wriggled into a more comfortable part of the mattress. "Oh, you bet it is. What's that saying about long periods of boredom punctuated by moments of terror? Here it's more like 'long periods of running for your life followed by interminable hours of blood tests and medical scans'. I won't say you get used to it, exactly, but you do come to expect it."

She giggled; he huffed out a breath of laughter as well.

"McKay's taken to calling it the 'Zen of Beckett' which, okay, insulting, yes, but also kind of apt. You'll see. Uh. That is, if you want to take the chance on coming off-world with the team again after this."

Great, now he sounded like an embarrassed fourteen year old girl. That was exactly the impression he was aiming to make. Though there was something he had to say, and not just as a good team leader (though that was part of it), and his expression turned serious again for a moment.

"You were fantastic today, Doc. Nice work getting in touch with the _Daedalus_, though next time you're calling in the reinforcements? You may want to let the rest of us in on the plan."

"I wasn't entirely sure it would work until, uh, it had, sir. We don't usually get quite that range on these things," she waved the wrist com at him in illustration, "and I wasn't entirely sure whether Dr Weir would've sent the _Daedalus_ out after we missed our check in or if someone else's team would just end up falling into the same trap. Besides, they _did_ have the cell wired for sound, so I couldn't have told you out loud anyway."

There was only the tiniest hint of censure in her tone, but he heard it clear enough anyway, and respected that she had the guts to even offer it, especially since, well, she was right. He dipped a nod of acknowledgment towards her, accepting that.

"The trick with the knife was pretty neat, too. Didn't know they taught the civilian crew much more than point and shoot, or your basic duck and cover."

"Well, I'm good with tools," Novak said, a wicked grin dancing around the corners of her mouth and Lorne's eyes widened in response. And on reflection, he maybe should've thought just a little more before replying, but in his defence, well, he probably had a head injury or something. And if she decked him, that was definitely going to be his story.

"Novak, are you flirting with me?"

She looked, for the first time, just a little uncertain. "Am I doing it right? Because I was pretty sure you're interested, and you looked interested, well, as interested as a guy tied to a chair on the floor with a potential concussion can- and, wow, I really hope no one's listening to this out of context, and Laura said- well, anyway, uh. I thought it wouldn't be too much of a stretch? If you are. Interested, that is. You can jump in any time here, Major."

Okay, so maybe he was a little interested. And not as subtly as he should've been. Maybe he was charmed despite himself and this could probably blow up in his face, but hey, unlike ninety percent of the population of Atlantis? This at least was not strictly speaking against regs. He grinned back which, ow, split lip, hurt like hell, and was totally worth it. "Yeah, I'm interested. How do you feel about blue jello, Doc?"

~ ~ ~

Apparently Novak felt pretty positive about blue jello and bad sci-fi DVDs on the laptop (the Atlantis stand-in for dinner and a movie) because two days later found them snuggled up together on his bed making fun of the pseudoscience in the latest set of new releases. He'd always found brains and competence a complete turn-on, and it was nice that he could – thank you Stargate program – keep up with her in that area to an extent, though at least _he_ wasn't taking the fake physics personally.

"Oh, come on, there is no way you get that rate of fire from a-" he shut up in a hurry as she shook with silent laughter, shoulder vibrating against his.

"Okay, so maybe I'm a little invested in the realism too," and she turned to smile at his admission (bruises faded, scrapes healing, fine-boned and delicately strong) and all of a sudden it was the easiest thing in the world to just lie there, to cup her chin lightly in his hand as she leaned in to kiss him, mouth lingering over his.

It wasn't necessarily the best first kiss he'd ever had, but there was something- something addictive, something so compelling about it, about her, and without a second thought he had wrapped himself around her, hands sweeping over her back and shoulders, one settling into her hair, thumb stroking over the curve of her ear.

She shuddered against him, bit down hard at his lip, and God, he might've been loose and sleepy-content earlier, but everything was waking up with a vengeance now. He muffled a groan against her mouth, let his head fall back heavily into the pillow as her hands wandered, and he wondered hazily how good the odds were that he could get her shirt off.

Apparently the odds were heavily in his favour, and he would've stopped to ponder just exactly when he'd regressed to being a twelve year old boy except that, well, he had better things to do.

Better things like shoving the empty plate off the side of the bed so that they could move without worrying about where the spoons were going (and there was no way he wanted to have to be the one to explain _that_ to Beckett), better things like shoving the unbuttoned shirt off her shoulders and licking at her stomach with slow, broad strokes of his tongue, making her giggle and complain she was ticklish.

And even though he never moved this fast normally, it was even easier to keep laughing, holding her gaze with his, losing clothing and composure until they were both naked and easy under crisp sheets, till she was pressed up hotly against him, deep brown eyes sparking with encouragement. His hands were full of her breasts and her nails (cut sensibly short, little finger ragged where she'd bitten it down on their mission) digging into his biceps. It was so simple to kiss, and kiss, to breathe each other in and out for so long that it hardly seemed as if it could still be the same night by the time he pulled away from nuzzling at her neck to scatter open-mouthed kisses from throat to thigh and licked hotly into her body as she gasped and slid weakening fingers to twine uselessly through his hair.

His fingers followed his mouth, grazed over sensitive skin, triggered nerves for the sheer joy of the way she trembled and shook, moaning low and uninhibited. Then they shifted, and her knees locked around his hips as they moved together, and he buried his face in her neck, moaned her name as he latched on to the spot just above her collar which made her shudder twice as hard, tripped her over into orgasm once and then twisted his wrist until it ached and she came a second time, body going tight and gloriously hot around him as his muscles seized up in perfect glory for one long moment before he followed.

It took a while after that before he realised the DVD was still playing, the annoying music from the title screen on endless loop until he reached out and flicked it shut, cutting it out instantly.

"Thank you," she muttered into his chest, sprawled completely boneless half-over him, which was somehow hot all over again, especially when she followed that with "and, wow."

He seconded the wow, running his fingers over the side of her neck, working out the pins and needles with a hiss.

"I don't usually- I mean, that's sort of more a third date type of thing," he started carefully, before realising that could be construed as an insult. "I mean, that was great, Lindsey- that was really, really great, just-"

She took pity on him, levered herself up (and elbowed him in the side on the way, but he felt too satisfied to even make a show of complaining) to look him direct in the eyes. "I know what you mean. I kind of can't believe we already did that." And then her eyes widened and she elbowed him in the ribs again, deliberately. "I can't believe we did that _and I don't even know your first name_ yet!"

And as she laughed helplessly he tightened his arms around her, drew her down into another kiss and told her.  



End file.
